So yesterday was not very good. That morning I just felt like I was doing everything wrong and getting tons of negative thoughts about my abilities to do this job. I was doubting my future and just thinking about jobs in general and how I feel like I would never be able to handle any job. I had a session at 9:30 in ICU and it just reinforced these thoughts... I couldn't communicate effectively with the patients and was nervous and not having a good time. So after that session I went to go retrieve shift reports on new patients and had to make copies so I did. I went back to the room next to it and heard someone venting and cussing about people not clearing the copier after using it. I thought crap, she's probably talking about me. So later I walk out when I was done and she told me next time I made copies to clear the copier, in a pretty rude manner. Naturally I went to the bathroom and cried. When I made myself half way presentable I went and sat back in the office and after a while the rec therapist asked if I was okay and if something happened so I told her, but it wasn't just that she was slightly rude to me, it was just things building up all morning and that was the tipping point. So todayyyy... I was looking for shift reports again and she came up to me and asked if she could talk to me when I got a second. Well we never did talk... because when I was done I couldn't find her then we were both busy I guess blah blah blah... but what the heck... I hope nobody told her about how I was crying about that dumb thing?? She probably thinks I'm ridiculous. The rec therapist I told yesterday was freaking out saying "I need to tell my supervisor! That's not acceptable!" but I really don't want any drama with anyone ugh. I really really hate this. That's life though. I've really been thinking about jobs a lot and how I don't want one where I have to wake up early, come home in the evening, and my life revolves around that. I know that's what almost everyone does, and that's just how it is, and I just have to deal with it, whatever. Well I don't care. I'm not everyone and I only have one life and I want to do something more with it! Something that I will actually enjoy and WANT to do. I mean really really want to do. I know it's out there and I will MAKE IT HAPPEN. I believe that I can. Back to my internship. Since that's what this blog is about... Today I was with the weekend music therapist. She is so much more efficient I think in terms of how she does notes and stuff. I also just feel like she was more on my level, which I appreciated. It was a nice change of pace. I got to observe the adolscent unit for the first time today FINALLY. I liked it, but there were only four of them. Today I got done at like 4 which is the earliest I've ever been done so that was nice! Tomorrow one of my friends will be in town because her boyfriend lives here but we're going to hang out all day tomorrow!! I'm so excited! I finally get to actually experience this city and do something other than go to my internship and come home. Also, friends. Yay friends. Speaking of friends... I LOVE MY FRIENDS. Yesterday Cara and Aliza both called me after seeing a tumblr post I made saying "Today sucks." I was also texting Lily and Jordan about it at lunch and Sarah texted me last night and I just seriously have amazing friends. I wanted to cry just thinking about how grateful and blessed I am to have them in my life. When I was one the phone with Cara, she prayed for me and I went on facebook after we hung up and three of my music therapy friends that are in their internships posted encouraging things about internship IN A ROW. 3 posts right next to each other. WHAT. That was fast God, wow.